what mild seven reminds me of

I smelt mild seven just now! I almost forgot how it smells like. It's been 4 days since I last saw hun. I miss Justin.

My name is Soh Hoon

I do not have any English name or Christian name or whatever you call that. My name is Soh Hoon, which is quite difficult to remember if you first know me. Back in primary school, I would be annoyed when people can't remember my name. I thought Soh Hoon sounds ugly too. I used to ask my parents why didn't they give me any English name and they would push this question to each other and never really give me an answer at the end of the day.

My classmates in primary school used to call me bee hoon/char bee hoon. When I was in lower primary, I hated this nickname so much that I won't eat bee hoon. If not, they will call me fooL soh hoon. But I soon got used to it la. Whenever people go, ' eh bee hoon...' and I will, ' what?' I took for granted that people will call me bee hoon no matter what.

But when I went to secondary school, surprisingly no one even bother to comment about my name.

Now, everyone call me Soh Hoon. Except for my chinese teachers. They call me by my chinese name.

And I really hate it when people pronounce my name as SoR(rr) Hoon. Wah lau! So crude!

I think right now I don't even bother to want to have any English name or what. I think I have a soh-hoon-face.

Of all the names I had, I think Mole is the funniest/insulting one. Wah lau! Nobody commented about the mole on my nose until I went to work. What shit! Call me Mole never mind la. But call me ORH KI so nan ting!

Please do not call me orh ki, because I think the word itself is very disgusting. And do not call me SoR Hoon, unless you want to irritate me. My name is Soh Hoon.


This entry is totally random.

false alarm

CHEY!
Justin was just sleeping yesterday. Ought to be shot ar sohhoon.

something is wrong

Justin's online but he's not talking or responding to me :( He's been online the whole day yesterday and I think he hasn't gone off since yesterday. He's not on away status also. BUT WHY DON'T WANT TO TALK?!

Nan daooooo..... ARH ARH ARH!!

I'm only half done with revising for CIP and I haven't started on OB. I'm in such shit. Can anyone teach me Statistics? How to find confidence level?! See la, sohhoon. Skip lectures somemore :(

Why is he not talking? He hasn't contact me also. :( Cham liao lah, he don't want me already ...

marginal cost

How to find the marginal cost?! There goes my econs.

(updated again at 7.32pm)
I just went through my statistics. I think I might need to remodule.

justin?

I was watching the Toronto 2006 Winter Olympics, Ice Hockey Mens, this morning. Russia vs USA. I like ice hockey! So rough lah. They kept banging each other inside the rink. Looks bloody fun. I want to play! I supported the russians. Thank god they won, 4-3. :) I think the americans were quite messy. They just kept sweeping their sticks around the goal post. Anyway, I saw these 2 russians who reminded me of Ashton Kutcher and Brendan Fehr. I thought they quite cute lah.

Then, I was thinking, ' hmmm, both got thick eyebrows hor? and got sharp chins! Maybe I like boys with thick eyebrows and sharp chin hor! '

I began to recall the men I fell in love with. Let's see, there was this series called Roswell. I was a huge fan of the show lor! I read all their books and watched all the episodes. I love Brendan Fehr! (who was Micheal) He always has this gloomy look on his face like everyone owes him money. Very seductive can.
In 2001(I think), I remember watching Dude, where's my car with Fong Ee. I fell in love with Ashton Kutcher instantly. I thought he was so hot!
Then, when Pearl Harbor came out, I fell in love with Josh Hartnett! This infatuation lasted me til maybe Sec4?
Because back in 2004, there was Euro what, saw Ronaldo.. uhh, Cristiano hor, not the brazil one.. so I decided to change target again. Lol. I supported him all the way okay! I remember Pauline and I was like so crazy over him. I cried with Ronaldo when Portugal lost the finals you know! I was damn sad lah. :(

So you see,

Brendan Fehr. Thick brows and sharp chin!

Ashton Kutcher. Thick brows and sharp chin! With cleft somemore :pJosh Hartnett. Thick brows and sharp chin again! Got cleft also!Ronaldo! Hot? YES!! Thick brows and chin! Somemore, he's tanned :D

Oh! I think James Dean's like the man of men lah. Look!
He look damn sat right! The gloomy face, thick eyebrows and sharp chin. Too bad he's not around anymore.

Anywayyy,I decided to ditch all of them because I think Justin(haha, i'm not using BF, happy?) has thick eyebrows and sharp chin! He's quite tanned too(But not as tanned as before. Because he's playing dota all the time in his room. Haha!) No wonder I love him so much. WAHAHA! Right, HUN? :p

Justin likes to speak in a really weird cowboy accent and he's getting really crazy nowadays. With all his snake dance and listening to that Fort Minor song. Justin likes to drink CokeLime! He drinks CokeLime as if it's plain water. He has troops of ants residing in his room, but they have since disappeared as of this afternoon. 0_o He uses 55220's network to play dota and whenever he lags out he will go, 'farrrrkeeenngg heeellll' and jumps onto the bed :D Justin will also entertain me when I'm bored. He has been really good to me. Justin can sleep up to 21 hours and while he was MIA, I thought he was trying to dump me. Lol! Justin has a small nose and he's the only person who thinks my mole looks good on me. Justin and I watch every week's Sunday blockbuster movie on channel5 together. One year ago, we would call Justin Just tea. But Justin hates Just tea. Justin likes to eat peanuts and he aspire to be a farmer. He will farm his own peanuts. Justin and I have tummies. He would give me face hug occasionally.
And this is Justin..

Thick eyebrows and sharp chin! No? Got lah!








I'm too overwhelmed with Justin recently, and I'm in such good mood.

JIA GEI WO!

I was studying for econs with my television on and there's this campus superstar thingy on channelU. Wasn't really paying much attention to it until this particular guy came and sing this song, Jia Gei Wo. Wah, it's either this song itself is nice or the guy made a really good rendition of it. I love this song lah! It's by Alex toh. Hahaha, one of bf's favourite singer. Hurhur!
I don't even know he had this song. Hmm!
Buay tahan already lah! Just downloaded this song, and I can't stop listening to it. I think the next kbox outing or what, I'm going to sing this song first! Dao dai will be second! :D
I hope bf can sing to me next time. Hahaha! He can only sing Alex toh's wu xin shang hai. Jia gei wo nicer! REALLY! I think I'll melt and even vaporise myself if he ever sing this song to me. HAHAHA! I'll succumb to whatever he says I tell you! maybe not lah. Haha :/
I think this song will be playing on my winamp for a very loooong time. Sweeta!


小星星亮晶晶闪在你的眼睛里
从此投入我的心呼风又唤雨
我愿意好愿意双手奉上我自己
单身夜里找到你再也不离去
爱是我爱是你爱是肯定句
oh~谁也不能阻挡我永远守护你
日出日落黑夜白昼时时刻刻拥在怀中
清清楚楚这感动分秒可以成永久
我望著你你看著我有句话我想对你说
今生今世跟著我做你幸福的理由
嫁给我
嫁给我? OKAY!

okay lah, enough of nonsense.

6 jwee kuey for $1.50.

Boyfriend and I went on a cycling trip yesterday night. I was excited about the whole thing, so much so that my palms and feet started to sweat again. We went to pump the tyres at the petrol station outside his place, then we went to bishan street something to eat kuay chap! Then we proceeded to toa payoh. Half way there, we had to cycle up this slope, and with my sweaty feet, the slipper slipped out of my foot and I think my foot got cut by the pedal. Aiya, I don't know how to describe, but my foot was in pain after that. In the end, boyfriend had to exchange his shoes with my slippers :(
Left his house at around 1pm, and went back at 4 or 5. Haha. Thank you for waiting for me all the time and exchanging your shoes with my slippers and helped me carry the bike up the overhead bridge. After this cycling trip, I know I'm not cut out for cycling. But I'm sure I'm good at something, ya? Maybe not.
Slept until 1 plus 2. Woke bf up and complained hungry. Yay! Then he went to the hawker centre outside his place and bought back fried hokkien mee and JWEE KUEY add cai por for me! :D I love the jwee kuey. It's damn nice. Forget about the oily-ness. My god, the jwee kuey's heaven. I'm craving for more jwee kuey now.

OH SHIT! I'M IN DEEP DEEP TROUBLE! I JUST REALISED MIEC PAPER'S THIS FRIDAY. GODDAMNIT.

Gotta mark this day too :D
You're really lovely
Underneath it all
You want to love me
Underneath it all
I'm really lucky
Underneath it all
You're really lovely

You know some real bad tricks
And you need some discipline
But, lately you've been trying real hard
And giving me your best
And, you give me the most gorgeous sleep
That I've ever had
And when it's really bad
I guess it's not that bad

So many moons that we have seen
Stumbling back next to me
I've seen right through and underneath
And you make me better
I've seen right through and underneath
And you make me better
Better... better...

You are my real Prince Charmin'
Like the heat from the fire
You were always burnin'
And each time you're around
My body keeps stalin'
For your touch
Your kisses and your sweet romancin'
There's an underside to you
That so many adore
Aside from your temper
Everything else secure
You're good for me, baby
Oh that, I'm sure
Over and over again
I want more

reflecting on cip, doh?

It's the end of a school term, well, almost. Basically we're done with all our modules, except for our final paper. Tsk!
CIP, Computing something processing, right? Okay, actually it teaches us all the definition and function of each different software and hardware parts. Also, how to use all the macromedias and microsoft word, powerpoint. All these skills are further enhanced through doing our PBL. I love doing the flash a lot. At first, it was really frustrating, because I don't know what all the buttons are for. Like the different layers and such. Even after looking through the notes, I still can't quite figure out how to go about doing it. The notes weren't of much help actually. In the end, I explored around myself and trial and error a bit before getting my final piece. The whole process was really tedious and time consuming, but after looking at my work later, I think it was all worth while. A sense of achievement loh!
We stumbled a bit on our PBL though. There was some miscommunication and we almost lost our presentation :/ Almost lah. haha. Overall, i'd say that the PBL taught us a lot. We had to research on materials and we learn about all the computer parts and applying all that we've learn on powerpoint to do the presentation.
PBL2 was even more enriching, yes? We were given problems like why the computer reboot itself etc, and we're supposed to find out the cause and a solution to it. Through all these problem solving, I know a bit more about computers now!
Aiya! All in all I'll say, take up CIP! because at first I thought this module was a bit useless. I mean, I know how to use Word, PowerPoint, I know what's a computer what. Why do we need to learn about all these? But, after attending CIP, I realised, I was wrong. My god, there's a whole lot more to the Word and PowerPoint I know.
Yup, WE LOVE CIP, right?

argh. i suck.

valentine's

the day before..

bought materials and everything and made this humongous card!this is the front. i like the gold paint lah! :Dthis is the inside. i wasn't finish with the drawing and colouring yet.
no photo of the final piece, it's exclusively for justin to see :P okay lah, i think you all also not interested lah. lol!

on 14feb..

overslept in the morning so i skipped ob :/ dilly dally a bit before going to school for ocom, feeling really happy the whole time :) kept thinking about what to do in the afternoon.
table topic was alright. rushed home after class. dropped by ntuc to buy some more food. bought chicken sausage with cheese, coke lime and sushi :D actually i had wanted to buy roses/sunflower, but i don't have enough cash with me.
had asked justin quek to come over at 3pm and i reminded him not to be late. but that idiot, as usual, was late. lol. never mind, gave me more time to prepare the food.
it was my first time cooking spaghetti and i actually am quite talented at that you know. haha! actually it was quite easy. just had to boil the water and put the pasta in for around 20 mins. add some butter for better taste(my sis told me one.. dont know true or not:/). after the spaghetti's ready, soak inside cold water for 5mins. according to my sis also, i don't know why. anyway, after that, heat up the spaghetti sauce and voila! it's quite done.

stir fried the bacon too and put the sausages into the toaster. actually there wasn't much work.
put the sushi onto plate and waited for His Majesty to come. i was really hungry already lah. 3.30pm and i still see him online?!
he called me and said he would take a cab down, so i waited and waited and waited, hor justin? lol!
when finally His Majesty made his grand arrival, it was already 4plus. i was so bloody hungry. lol. just went straight to eat!

i was convinced i cook good spaghetti when i saw this. haha! tempted?
it was obvious he loves my cooking.

he was saying " hao chi!" hahaha, no?
after eating, we went to my room and he played ps2.

we left my house at around 8 plus. went lot1 to buy yami yogurt, because he wanted to eat. he was supposed to go home, but i made him stay! LOL. but that was through giving some black face :/ i zei not? hahaha! sorry lah justin. :p

so with nothing to do, we went to play pool again. lol. nothing special, but who cares! dear is staying overnight at my place :D

the first time he relented and pose for me. i like :)
after pool, bought bacardi and walked back to my place. my face was all red, as usual, after drinking. dropped by 7-ll to buy something to eat before returning to my place.
watched some tv and went to sleep at around 2 plus. he's very tired because he fell asleep in less than 1 min! amazing right? i could hear his light snoring just after i went to switch off the tv. tsk!

woke up the next morning and cooked myself some spaghetti left from the previous day. used the computer and waited for Majesty to wake up at 2plus 3. after that, it was playing ps2 again for him. he doesn't seem to get sick of playing the same game.

left my place at 8 and he went to buy yami again. lol. waited for 927 at interchange and i decided to take the bus with him to the zoo. lol. do you feel loved, justin? HAHA!


hmm, went to watch the Fog at cineleisure yesterday night. we caught the 1.55pm show. went to eat at this place beside meridian. not very nice :/ too expensive for that kind of lousy food. then we went to play billard(correct spelling?).
haha. he wasn't posing, but i was waiting for him to turn around after he hit that shot and i always believe he got a long body, yes?

i was damn tired and i fell asleep during the show. for about 15 mins? i don't know. the show was alright lah. but i realised tom welling has got quite a toned figure, but i still don't think he's handsome. one thing i don't understand is, why fog? i mean, what has fog got to do with the ghost? whatever. lol.

took a cab back to justin's place. it was around 4 in the morning. i was talking the whole night and he was listening the whole time. hahaha. was talking about how we met to how we got together and every other thing. i just love talking about them because each time i think about them, it makes me wanna lala! hahaha. he went to play dota and i fell asleep. lol.
he fell asleep just now, so i left his place at 7plus. didn't wake him up though. i hope he isn't angry with me leaving without telling him :/


I LOVE YOU DEAR! <3




I believe that there's something deep inside
That shouldn't be from time to time
I sure found out, thought love was such a crime
The more you care, the more you fall

No need to worry, no need to turn away
Cause it don't matter, anyway
Oh baby

I'd miss you in a heartbeat
I'd miss you right away
I'd miss you in a heartbeat
Cause it ain't love if it don't feel that way, oh no

When we touch I just lose my self control
A sense sensation I can't hide
To love is easy, it ain't easy to walk away
I keep the faith and there's a reason why, yeah

No need to worry, no need to turn away
Cause it don't matter, anyway
Baby

I'd miss you in a heartbeat
Yeah I'd miss you right away
I'd miss you in a heartbeat
Cause it ain't love if it don't feel that way

Now, I ain't big on promises
But I'll be true to you
Cause I'd do 'bout anything, yeah
For some one like, baby for you

I'd miss you in a heartbeat
Yeah I'd miss you right away
Oh, I'd miss you in a heartbeat
Cause it ain't love if it don't feel that way

thanks for staying over. i appreciate it very much, i love you :)

i was thinking about a lot of things just now and i've made up my mind. i will move out once i save up enough money.

this is for Justin only.. THANK YOU FOR LOVING ME

It’s hard for me to say the things
I want to say sometimes
There’s no one here but you and me
And that broken old street light
Lock the doors
We’ll leave the world outside
All I’ve got to give to you
Are these five words when i

Thank you for loving me
For being my eyes
When I couldn’t see
For parting my lips
When I couldn’t breathe
Thank you for loving me
Thank you for loving me

I never knew I had a dream
Until that dream was you
When I look into your eyes
The sky’s a different blue
Cross my heart
I wear no disguise
If I tried, you’d make believe
That you believed my lies

Thank you for loving me
For being my eyes
When I couldn’t see
For parting my lips
When I couldn’t breathe
Thank you for loving me

You pick me up when I fall down
You ring the bell before they count me out
If I was drowning you would part the sea
And risk your own life to rescue me

Lock the doors
We’ll leave the world outside
All I’ve got to give to you
Are these five words when i

Thank you for loving me
For being my eyes
When I couldn’t see
You parted my lips
When I couldn’t breathe
Thank you for loving me

When I couldn’t fly
Oh, you gave me wings
You parted my lips
When I couldn’t breathe
Thank you for loving me

long entry ahead :/
we met in our working place and i took his number first, but i never message him. then i remembered when he took my number, it was like ah gu(the supervisor then) just invited me to sit at his desk and he taking over my work; i was shocked and happy afterwards. i remembered his first message to me went something like this, ' hello! remember me? i'm justin.. ' honestly, i was very happy lah. hahaha, but that morning i was too tired to be excited. i fell asleep almost immediately when i saw his last message, ' ... okay. good night! sleep tight! ' yada yada .. and we went on our first date on 31st jan 05.
i waited for him for 2 hours at the bus stop outside far east plaza. i called him but nobody picked up! i thought he was trying to play me out or something. i messaged alicia and she told me to go home. lol. but i don't know why i stayed on; i got a gut feeling he overslept. he looked like the kind that will oversleep to me. hahaha. and i lost my voice that time due to overworking(i think). lol. i felt so pathetic. when that idiot finally called back, i could hear that he was very gan chiong. LOL. kept apologising to me but i couldn't say much. uhh, in the first place i also can't say anything lah. he asked me to go cineleisure to wait for him and he would take a cab down. walked slowly over to cineleisure, and felt like an idiot the whole time. lol. no voice and all alone. i felt so intimidated walking on the streets. though i am fat ar, but i just feel intimidated lah. lol. i still remember when he came and walked over to me, he was like so cool. LOL. wearing a black polo tee with his levi's and still listening to his mp3. decided to watch a movie and settled on ' Shall we dance? '. not a bad show, but i was coughing all the way in the cinema. i felt so paiseh. anyway, i remembered walking to heeren and he bought mocha something to from Spinelli. then went to taka, and he bought ice cream to eat. i just remembered he kept buying food to eat lurh. lol. hang around until it was time to go for work. took the train down to clementi to change bus. bumped into zhengjie there. at that time, i still remember him as the pink-shirt-guy-kangkang-lookalike :/ i remembered he was leaning onto some pillar and eating bread. bumped into some other people lah. i'm too lazy to mention. lol.
soon after, he got injured during work and never come for a few days. lol. so bored! no yuang guang nan hai gliding across the room for a few days :( i remembered he still asked me out for dinner before work. wah lau! i must be too se or something to actually agreed to go eat dinner with him at northpoint! lol. out of my mind. and i got scolded by alicia because i agreed to go eat cai fan with her that day. sorry ali! after dinner, he walked me to the train station. wah! bumped into ahliang and gang there. i was so overwhelmed with shock that i think my face changed immediately. cause ahliang started to suan me later on at work -.- bloody nonsense lah him. announcing to everyone he caught us.
but anyway, i can't be bothered with him. LOL. i was just too happy my yuang guang nan hai from factory asked me out. lalala! i think 6feb was our last day at work. at that time, we're already quite close with kindaichi(sy) and zc-lookalike(bw). so after our last day at work, we went down to cineleisure to catch a movie. i also don't know how that justin managed to come with us. lol. he just popped into the picture. but i was quite happy lah. hahaha! watch machinist and fengshui and even went to his place there to eat the prata! omg. i just realised he was so zei! make all of us send him home and eat breakfast with him.
anyhow, we went to watch movies subsequently. constantine, howl's moving castle etc. the first time he ever sent me home was after howl's moving castle. the 2nd day of cny :) we were on 181m and that idiot said i could rest on his shoulder if i was tired. of course i must seize my chance lah! but i was really very tired lurh. lol. played with my hair when we were at the bus stop waiting for bus. wah lau! made my heart went POM POM POM!
then 12feb went to his place to gamble, bai nian lah all the nonsense. met up at amk first. he was at kpool. he was wearing this transformer tee with his trademark quiksilver pants. lol. the first time i met peter, his legendary dog, also. i remembered binghong etc were at his place already but they were still playing billard. then justin said, ' aiya, let them wait lah. say peter stomachache. shitting. ' lol.
at his place, his friends all promoting him to me. lol. played blackjack and i think i won around 8bucks. lol. then they went out for their smoking break. i don't know why but justin and me went 7-11 to buy some drinks i think. on our way back when we were crossing the road, that idiot snatched my hand and said, ' quick! cross the road! ' think i don't know what he's up to huh! LOL. but i felt very happy also lah. lala baby!
went up his room and use his laptop. was chatting with alicia. lol. and he kept disturbing, but after a while, he went down to gamble again. fell asleep and woke up with him coming into the room. then he showed me some funny videos over the net and some horoscope compatibility shits. lol. to think he resorted to this. hahaha.
the next day was 14th feb. met up at causeway point. i wouldn't want to mention what i wore. atrocious outfit! ahh. but he was very decently dressed. black long sleeved and his LEVI's. he bought candies and his infamous guardian bear :D there was this UK fun fair at that time, and he brought me to sit the ferris wheel. well, got alicia to thank for this. lol. her romantic idea.
he popped the question while on the wheel but i never gave him an answer. i told him to wait until we get down. lol. it was only on our way to orchard and on the train did he ask me again. lol. damn malu lah! when i finally said yes he went, YES! hahaha. on the other hand, alicia was also busy with her sy at pasir ris park. haha!
well, things went pretty well after we got together. we had our quarrels and fights along the way but somehow, we managed to resolve them by the end of the day :) him giving in to me all the time when i'm pmsing or unreasonable. thank you justin! it's been a long long year and i'm looking forward to the years ahead! if i could, i would jot down every little details that happened the past year. but you're probably tired of reading, no? i know you do read this blog, that's why you knew of the 2hour pathetic tanning thingy, right? haha! i hope you do manage to read until here. because i want to say, I LOVE YOU! thanks for everything you'd done for me. the little surprise froggy card, the guardian bear, pooh bear and everything :) you know, you always buy things at the most unexpected places. which i think you're so auntie yet cute. lol. sorry for taking you for granted sometimes. cheer up cheeky boy! remember, i'm always here for you! when you're down, look up! if you need anyone to talk to, call me! i'll always lend you my big fat ear for you. or whenever you need my face hug, tell me. i'll try to give it to you asap!
okay, it's late. i'll end here. sorry for the long post. just wanted to refresh my memories.. :D
HAPPY VALENTINE'S and HAPPY ANNIVERSARY MY DEAR!

new blog skin! pink! haha. i don't like, but since tomorrow's valentine's.. oh whatever.
in the mood for love, anyone? HAPPY VALENTINE's!
oh yes, i'm so proud of soh hoon! i spent the whole afternoon making a humongous card! hope he like it.

my self esteem has plunged to an all-time low, and i don't know why. from probably a 5 to now, negative 43 :(
i think my eyes are getting even smaller now, i think i am so bloody fat, my hair suck, i have a big nose with a BIG mole on it and where's my eyebrows?!
plus, i've been having that kind of dream lately, and that is making me very edgy.
on friday night, i met a bunch of (maybe) fifteen year old bengs on the bus. they were very rowdy and noisy when they came on the bus, and one of them sat beside me. then one of them shouted, ' EH! xian zai ji dian ar? (what's the time now?) ' the beng sitting beside me, then asked me for the time, so i showed him my handphone. then another beng came and he said, ' eh, xiao jie, qing wen ni ji sui ar? (miss, how old are you?) ' he started to go on and on and chatted with me. the beng friend sitting beside me then gave up his seat to him. yada yada.. luckily the bunch of them alighted after a few stops, if not, i don't know i have to give my very unnatural fake smile for how long. i can only say they are very bo liao, trying to act sat or something. but please, someone younger lah. because i was not impressed at all, a little intimidated though. lol. there were 10 or more of them, okay! i am but a pretty helpless woman :) told him about it, but, he no reaction leh! wah lau! am i loved or what?
ignorance is a bliss, yes?
1 more day to valentine's. haven't buy anything yet :( but! i have something in mind. i doubt he got buy anything for me. lol! he's been with me for the past week, if not, he would be sleeping. impossible for him to buy anything, but never mind. i want nothing, just tell me he wants me for the rest of his life! and that i have eyes bigger than that of ayumi's, boobs bigger than that of tyra's, a nose as small as justin's and money for lasering off that outstanding mole of mine and a figur.. okay, a packed of lies :( but, if you happened to see this! i don't want anything but YOU! :D
i hope the ghost follows me forever, honestly.
i want things to be the way they were one year ago. when everything's so nice. occasional messages dropping by and stuff. but soh hoon, do you deserve them now?
i hope i get my allowance tomorrow. i need to do something about my current financial status.
i want to have a good night sleep tonight! i don't want to dream of that again. then, my inferiority level would probably go down a little.
i just realised i get angry easily when i'm hungry.

i'm very tired and this is a very disorganised entry.
HAPPY YUAN XIAO JIE, right?

says:
you die already
says:
got 1 ghost following you

i dont mind the ghost following me forever. i should stop feeling insecure because i'm so happy that i will wear a bikini and flaunt all my fats and let you see all the folds of fats i have when i'm sitting down. i think i'll be so distracted later at soccer, because i'm just too happy :D
amanda just messaged me that it's raining heavily at school. ooo. add to the lala baby!

no more projects! i feel like nua-ing all day long. i'll just lay on bed, read a book or something, and sleep as and when i feel like it :D perfect!
but exam's starting on 24feb i think. and i got a gut feeling i will do very badly for this semester :/ the result of nua too much :( i've so much to talk about, but i don't feel like blogging anymore. goodbye.

i can't believe i screwed my table topic up today. got " Customers are always right"! which was what i bloody prayed for the whole night yesterday. it was, supposed to be, the easiest among all the topics, and i presented on this issue before! sad, my jittery got the better of me. i could hear my heart thumping the whole time when i was standing in front of the class! i kept telling myself, relax sohhoon, relax! but you know, it doesn't help at all :( babbled on shits and got stumped for a while. kept muttering shit under my breath and i just went " okay, service people are human and they're not obliged to serve you and they deserve to be respected " or something like this, " you're just paying that small little amount and you expect yourself to scold, request for unreasonable demands from the staff " the 2.5 mins was up and my time was 2min35sec. over by 5 seconds, oops. i expected more from myself, but dah! tutor then commented that my pacing was quite nice, and that i got a good voice! ohmygod :) nice mellow or something, she said. but but! i was nervous and that i should do something about my hair :( my hair! she said my fringe kept falling and cover my eyes and that it was distracting me, no? whatever, it's time i get a haircut.
i can't believe the rashes aren't going away.

this is for cip.
finally we've presented our pbl2.was rushing and compiling the final piece yesterday night, or rather, this early morning (finished at 4?). i thought it was a rather clean presentation. as in the slides weren't too wordy, short and sweet. but tutor said it was brief, general. so much for the hours of researching and late night editing! i remembered ocom said powerpoint slides shouldn't be too wordy. she commented on the part on biometrics also. have to admit we were a bit out of point, but we did our best though. through pbl2, i've learned much from it. things like why a computer reboots itself or what can be done if computer was infected with spyware or what. now that i know, if such thing ever happens to me(choy!), at least i know what to do. so pbl do help me in some ways, huh? oh! and proposal for pbl1. used to type out the content page one by one and everything, but! after the e-learning exercise, everything is so much easier, i tell ya! been a mountain turtle for so long. tsk! so we managed to finish up the proposal too :) pbl's quite enriching, i'd say. thought cip was about using microsoft word, powerpoint and stuff. was right, but i didn't expect so much more from it. i didn't know we can set up the content page in word with just a click or two. i didn't know we could set the timing for slides transition, until cip came along.
right now, i'm just so relieved that we're done with cip's projects. ob just needed a few touches here and there, and tomorrow's the day! table topic's on tomorrow, too. have yet to research on any materials for the topics. have to finish miec's analysis shit by tomorrow too.
despite all these, i'm glad i have my quek oh sugar dad to depend on(hopefully :/)!

when i thought i had everything planned out, i didn't know it could cause so much discontentment. to hell with projects and school, seriously. i don't know what's the best plan, really. i can't even afford to doze off because i was tired. what's with all the rush of projects? i am a bad bad selfish girl lah. all i wanted was to finish everything i had on hand and enjoy myself with you without having to think of what to hand in tomorrow and if i had any undone assignments or projects. i'm sorry if i had upset you again with my stupidity and selfish acts. i know i've said this umpteen times, but i'm sorry. it's really hard to juggle with so much things all at the same time. i'm not trying to make myself seem like i'm in such sorry plight and that i did no wrong. i know i disappoint you a lot, and you may think i'm lying. i'm not and i'm so sorry. if you had to think otherwise, i really don't know what else to say. sorry isn't enough and i know. but i'm sorry..
so much for writing all these, i doubt you even see all these. i don't know if i want you to see them also. i don't even know when i'm gonna receive your reply or anything. or this might be the last time you ever want to talk to me.

the doc said the pills weren't drowsy, but i feel so lethargic every now and then. i can still see the rashes on my (inner) thighs, arms and the area just below my armpits(2 patches actually). maybe it wasn't really food allergy. maybe the doc was wrong about the whole salmon thing. maybe i really am dying. haha!
had our CATS presentation today, finally. was quite dead lah the skit. couldn't care more. it was the last lesson though :)
s&w was about defending today. you can't imagine how hot the weather was. but i love it! i will not miss out on any opportunity to get tanned. okay, that pathetic 2 hours won't get me anywhere near tanned, but whatever. you know, when you're fat and it's really disgusting to wear bikini, you will have to just rely on what ever opportunities you have to get under the sun to get tanned. but somehow, i don't seem to get darker after weeks of s&w. which is discouraging me so much. what's wrong with fat people wearing bikini? what's wrong with having thunder thighs and big buldging tummies? what's wrong with having flabby arms? very wrong, may i say. or at least that's what everyone else think; it's so wrong to be fat. who ask us to eat so much. fat isn't everything. but being fat and big sized is something. at least fat people could work hard to shed that extra pounds off and tada! they're slim and pretty again. but for big sized, even if they were to lose weight, they will still be big sized no matter what. sad, i'm the latter. maybe sentosa should consider setting up another beach area exclusively for fat people only. where all the fat people gather to wear bikini. skinny, slim people will be condemn in this area, if found lurking around or even laughing at us, they shall be force to eat so much food that they will be joining the fat-people-exclusive-beach themselves. and the fat seniors will have their turns to laugh at them. why aren't we living in the yang gui fei(was it) era? where they deem fat people as pretty woman, and everyone's vying to be fat. then, i'll be such a natural beauty.
with all the advertising on slimming pills and centres, it's really driving me crazy. for every 5 advertisements they aired during commercial breaks, i think 3 are on slimming pills and centres. if not, skin care products. they make it seem like being fat's a crime. who wouldn't want to be born with a angelina jolie's bod. enough about fat. it's making things worse. no offence to fat people :/ yours truly was hailed as the gentle giant. sorry for digressing such a huge chunk.
back to s&w. many people turned up. some of which don't belong to soccer, i think :/ it wasn't that fun today. didn't get much chances to touch the ball. too many boys, and two girls. do you think they will pass the ball to us? fat hope! i was so lazy, i didn't change out of the attire and went home straight. bathe and i fell asleep until 1am. didn't go to alicia's place :/ and i don't even feel like going to mstoh's place early in the morning tomorrow. still have tons of projects waiting for me. can you imagine a fat woman being stress? had a weird dream just now though. too lazy to elaborate, but it might suggest something. tsk.
and i saw someone's nick over msn just now and it says, 'i'm not fat, just fed'. i felt consoled, at least i know, i'm just a bit more well-fed than most.
and so, i waited and waited and waited. i miss you!

it really hit me hard when i took back my bstats paper. i failed. i've been fooling around too much this whole semester. i barely passed any papers. goddamnit. when everyone else got full marks for paper 2. i actually failed. so much for skipping lectures and missing tutorials. it was the first time i cried over a failed paper. i just realised that i have 4 projects to hand in and table topics on tuesday, when i saw the marks on the paper. final exams are coming. and i'm still failing bstats. fuck! now, i have to bear all the stupid consequences. i may start doing work now. but trust me, if i managed to get pass this semester, this whole vicious cycle will repeat itself again next semester. i know myself almost too well. I DON'T WANT TO REPEAT MODULES! not bstats, not miec! now i don't even know if i'm eligible for the bstats retest. got to add up test1 and 2 marks and see if i've failed overall. ooo! and for the bonus, the retest is on 14feb!
life's just so beautiful isn't it. everything is just going too well for me lah! my rashes should have kill me instantly. but no, the doc said it could have just been allergy to some food or insect bites. i told him i ate salmon sashimi 2 weeks back and it coincides with the rashes. so it might have been the raw salmon. maybe what i should do now is to gobble down lots of raw salmon for breakfast, lunch, high tea, dinner and supper.

i am happy because he likes my father and so does my father. which is why i will never allow anything to change that, ever.
urgh! runny nose and rashes. think i'm down with a slight fever too. and it's back to school again. and somebody seems to be upset with me :( to that somebody, eh, i'm sorry. i know every time you will have to say so much, but i'll still walk away. i'm really sorry. but i have to take into consideration about other things too. no, it's not that you're not important. you're my first priority in anything and always be at the no1 spot.
i really don't know what to say, you'll probably get upset with me again. i'm sorry i never think about your feelings and everything. and i haven't been the goody goody nice girl i promised to be nor did i treat you superbly nice as promised. i'm really sorry because each time, i feel so guilty. the worse thing is, i know all these, yet i'm still doing it again and again to make you upset :( i know apologizing won't amend anything, and that action speaks louder than words. and i'm not even sure if you know about this blog and get to read all these, but i'm really sorry.
we're coming to a year, and from now til then, i don't want anything to ruin the day. looking back, i wish every day was like day one; on the ferris wheel, train, pasir ris park etc. but for a year, you made everything seem beautiful. there may times when we're upset with each other, but at the end of the day, we're okay again. i hope by the next entry, or even earlier, 12 noon or whatever, you would have message me or something. i have an inbox full of your messages. even if it's just an 'okay'; you don't know how happy i am whenever i look at my hp and sees ' one new message from justin '.