yesterday was one of the many worse night. forcing myself to fall asleep. goddamn it. how lousy can it be. I HATE THIS! because it doesn't feel good to get scolded and cursed. it's all my goddamn bloody fault. yes, it was. and i so deserve a fuck you.

i suddenly realise, there's no importance to special occasion nor is there a need for them. it's just like any other lousy day :)

i'll look forward to tomorrow.

deleted, as requested by yongquan.

happy 10 monthsary! :) it's been a long way. there's so much things to say, but let's save it for the anniversary.

anyhow, sawII was good. although i didn't quite like the bloody scenes. but i thought the plot was really unexpected with lots of twist and turns. but wm said the first one was nicer.
oh yes, there will be blood.

was doing a personality test for ob individual assignment. and i got this:

You're an INFP

INFP

You focus deeply on your values and devote your life to chasing ideals... you often draw people together around a common purpose and work to find a place for each person within the group. You're creative and seek new ideas and possibilities. You quietly push for what's important to you, and rarely give up. You might be somewhat gentle or have a good sense of humor, you could be hard to get to know and overlooked by others...you like to make the world more in line with your vision of perfection.

If you're a teenager, you probably have a bit of a rebellious streak. You might argue with others who hold different values than yourself..you probably have a small close-knit group of friends...you can relax around these pals and be pretty entertaining, since you see the world in a different and special way... that's why your posts on the Storm Palace are so great!

Inner harmony is the most important thing to you. You're sensitive and loyal. You have a strong sense of honor concerning your personal values. You'd rather communicate your feelings in writing...

You do best in a flexible situation where the teacher/collegue takes a personal interest in you...you like to interact with your peers, but not TOO much ...you have both creativity and flexibility, and you like that about yourself....you don't get bogged down by details...your job must be fun and it must be meaningful to you....you don't wanna feel conspicuous so you'll sell yourself short just to avoid the spotlight...

You can be a gentle and subtle leader...being indirect and inclusive of others...you don't confront people head-on, but rather work with 'em to get the job done....you lead with your values in mind and let these guide you...you don't like conflict, so you don't confront situations directly.. you'd rather wait for a situation to work itself out....

Leisure and kickin' back is really important to you. sometimes it is hard to separate work from play, huh? when you find a new recreational pursuit, you do a lot of reading up on it...most of your leisure things are done alone, like reading, listening to music, and even BBSing....when you want to be sociable, you can be very charming and outgoing..

Love is a very deep commitment to you...it's not easily attained...you probably pick out flaws or are disappointed when he or she doesn't match up to your ideal as to what love should be like...first dates are very well set up to make sure everything is taken care of so it can be "just right." you might have a hard time sharing feelings about others...you tell so many feelings inside that you forget to tell your partner that you love 'em or whatever....

If the relationship goes bad, you take it to heart, but probably don't tell many others about it....you have a tendency to overreact, huh? Other things to watch for...don't get so caught up in your dreams that you don't consider others' points-of-view...you might not adjust your vision to the facts of a situation...you may need a "reality check" once in a while... also, don't try to please everyone and be so hesitant to criticize... don't delay projects 'cause you're holding out for perfection...it's not gonna come...don't get overly critical because no one matches your perfect ideals... you could lash out and it could get ugly.

INFP: "I Never Find Perfection"

very true.

face hug! face hug! face hug!face hug! face hug! face hug!face hug! face hug! face hug!face hug! face hug! face hug!face hug! face hug! face hug!face hug! face hug! face hug!face hug! face hug! face hug!face hug! face hug! face hug!face hug! face hug! face hug!face hug! face hug! face hug!face hug! face hug! face hug!face hug! face hug! face hug!face hug! face hug! face hug!face hug! face hug! face hug!face hug! face hug! face hug!face hug! face hug! face hug!face hug! face hug! face hug!face hug! face hug! face hug!face hug! face hug! face hug!face hug! face hug! face hug!face hug! face hug! face hug!face hug! face hug! face hug!face hug! face hug! face hug!face hug! face hug! face hug!face hug! face hug! face hug!face hug! face hug! face hug!face hug! face hug! face hug!face hug! face hug! face hug!face hug! face hug! face hug!face hug! face hug! face hug!face hug! face hug! face hug!face hug! face hug! face hug!face hug! face hug! face hug!face hug! face hug! face hug!face hug! face hug! face hug!face hug! face hug! face hug!face hug! face hug! face hug!face hug! face hug! face hug!face hug! face hug! face hug!face hug! face hug! face hug!
I WANT FACE HUG! TOO MANY DEADLINES TO MEET!

the sweetest thing

was reading pauline's blog during econs lecture, when i saw this. omg. i don't know what to say. but i know i LOVE HER TOO!!
Soh Hoon: Thanks for being my late night chatting kaki, cos you're one night owl. You're also another one of my "twin" cos your point of views are almost the same as mine! And we both hate skinny people! GRRR. I really love you a lot man, my bitch. And I love it when we're both on the same frequency all the time. You're the only one who knows what I'm talking about: those ulu old songs, SBC TCS Mediacorp shows, old actresses, whatever shit! And I love it when we both know what each other's getting at just through eye contact. Thanks for gossiping with me, and thanks for being such a tomboyish girl, so that I won't feel left out. We hate girly girls, don't we? But I do know we have our sissy sides, and I'm very glad that you showed it to me the other day. I do think about you though we're not contacting as much as before. And I hope Justin and you get married, can I be the godmother? No chance for you to be the godmother cos I doubt I'll be getting married. I love you too much to get tied down by a guy. SEXY BITCH I LOVE YOU! MY GODDESS.

and this

Priscilla: Thanks for being my friend. I'll never forget the times we hang out together, and your obsession with DOGS. I STILL CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU LIKE DOGS THAT MUCH! But I do understand your obsession with cute guys. Hehehe. I miss the time when we order lu ji mian when we were in Sec 1, and you actually believed SH and me when we said it was called mu ji mian. You're so goddamn innocent and funny, and you're a natural. I hope you find your soulmate soon, no, fuckmate since you're so goddamn horny, you just pretend to be a goody goody. We all know that you're sexually promiscuous, get out off the closet, and show the guys your true bitch power. Like what you always say when I suan you, "GRRRR", unleash the dog inside of you. And.. I LOVE YOU PRISCILLA!

HAHAHA. pauline's so amusing! and it's so sweet to read all these.
i miss those mu ji mian times. that was like in sec1. paul, pris and me will always chiong to the canteen once the bell rings for recess. everyday was so laughable back then. we'll be doing really childish stuffs (like counting the compatibility of two people) instead of listening to mdm soh. hahaha. or going to jp to eat fastfood after school, like almost everyday? that's why we hate skinny people :) i miss them so much! although we hardly meet up nowadays, but i know they're the ones whom i can count on.


to appease me by pressing my face against your very-pressable-and-jelly-like-tummy. you know it works all the time. and i love you so much, my sweetie!


CIP

oh yes, we're finally done with the presentation. haha! only my group members know the inside story :) didn't really go that well. we're just fumbling our way through the presentation, reading off slides and cooking up rubbish. sorry for the last-minute panicky attacks. this, i will remember for good. really sorry.
omg. when you're down, everything is against you. the slides were *ahem*, the air-con in the bus had to start dripping water. the bus decided not to come. and you realise you never bring your charger for the laptop and the batt is going flat. ahhhh. nice.
anyhow, one project's down. no more futuristic technology. NO MORE! :)

never agitate a sleepy man, fuck.
oh yes, and i can find so much things to do when the man is sleeping! because i've been on this page for more than 15 mins and just managed two sentences.



CIP! we're nearing the date of presentation. and i believe we haven't finish the project. 2 days away! YES OH YES!
im dying from all the deadlines to meet. from all the stupid tutorials. and im so tired. whatever.
everyday's the same. need some ecstasy. RAH! i think i hate going to school, ALONE. and going back home, ALONE; the long bus rides. i think i hate going to school because time seems to pass too quickly. i only look forward to fridays. but common test is coming. and i've absolutely no idea what's going on. and i feel like skipping all the lectures. and i think i've been doing this. i think i want to go out.
and you dont have to know what im talking about. cause i think nobody bothers about what i says, all the time.


kbox today, thanks! :)

typed this in the wee hours. i needed a place to kill time.
haven't slept the whole day. was chatting with pauline the whole night, about everything under the sun. i love her. she remembers everything about me :) like i don't eat sweets, nor do i drink milk. and i can only sleep with my face down! love talking nonsense with her. talked to her about a lot of things, and she's really good at giving advices. i feel so assured after talking to her. she's right. i shouldnt be thinking about rubbish. look on the bright side.
then, wm came online again. like us, he couldnt get to sleep. then 3 of us talked rubbish again. digged out a lot of ugly pasts :) but he left first, later.
time passes by so quickly. it's been 5 years. i miss the times when we went to hang out in JP. yes, we're a bunch of losers back then. but we're 13! young, innocent, stupid. but we had lots of beautiful memories together. funny ones, sad ones, and very bitchy ones. we're grown up. now, we're all 17, except for me. damn it.
despite not seeing each other for so long, we still got lots of nonsense to talk about. she's just too nice to talk to! i miss life back in css. not the school, the people. now, we're all heading in different directions. hope we'll meet some day :)

sorry for being so unreasonable. really sorry. i was thinking about all those the whole time. and was very very frustrated. but yes, really sorry.
if you ever get to see this. sorry for making you unhappy or upset in any way! didnt mean to. now that i've asked you everything that i want to ask. ah foo is back! :))